Tennessee: Shoot Them Sumbitches

By DP Fleming, Senior D Pressing News Reporter

The State of Tennessee changed it's gun laws this week. The new law allows gun owners, including those with mental disabilities, to carry their pistols in holsters and rifles slung over their shoulders. Anyone can now carry a weapon into establishment anywhere and shoot anyone with few exceptions.

State legislators passed the law allowing mentally challenged individuals to openly carry and or fire guns indiscriminately into bars and restaurants. The one exemption, firing on individuals too drunk to stand on their own, will not prevent gun wielding idiots from purchasing alcohol or taking it by force from the horizontal bar flies. Restaurant and Bar owners no longer have the option of placing a "no guns allowed" sign in their windows.

Some staunch defenders of Second Amendment rights feel that mixing guns and alcohol is a fundamental right of all citizens including idiots, morons, imbeciles, and dunderheads. A last-minute legal challenge is underway by a coalition of Tennessee people who disagree with the new law. The group of three, formerly of thousands, will meet in an undisclosed location next Tuesday.