By Unknown Staff Writer, D Pressing News
The "real news" has been so "depressing" that our senior staff writer has taken temporary leave and immersed himself in his childhood memories. The staff at D Pressing News cannot stop DP Fleming from watching the video below repeatedly while foaming at the mouth, drooling, and mumbling something about Howdy Doody. Apparently, Ms. Young was the writer's first childhood sweetheart. The first woman, besides his mother, with whom he fell in love. He's been able to communicate, with the use of a hand puppet, that he'll be back before the holidays are over, or until he finds a similar tribute to Brigitte Bardot.