BP Hires Cheney's Ethical Void

BP has hired Dick Cheney's missing ethics to serve as the new "head of misleading U.S. media" as the company deals with the PR disaster of oil spillage in the Gulf. In 2001, Cheney's repugnant ethics moved to a job in public affairs at the White House and have operated in secrecy, except for a few moments during the build up the the invasion of Iraq and the development of water-boarding techniques.

One of its tasks in its previous job was defending the administration's covert meetings with energy flacks, even as courts were telling the White House to turn over Cheney's ethics along with his attitude: The Bush administration response was swift "We are ready to defend Dick's lack of ethical standards in court. This goes to the heart of the presidency and to the "decider's" ability to make routine serious, unethical decisions detrimental to the public's welfare and safety."

All that is known about the former vice president's lack of ethical standards is that, as standards that are lacking, they do not exist and; therefore, are difficult to find.

BP also had contracted with Cheney's hostile nature for crisis management following the spill. Cheney's hostile nature will "focus on high stakes communications involving unilateral threats to Gulf coast inhabitants and a new sport called "oily sea creature bludgeoning" with global corporate clients."