By DP Fleming, D Pressing News Senior Staff Reporter
President Obama's aids are under control. They and fellow Democrats say that protests at town hall meetings are orchestrated by groups riding cows and goats provided by the health insurance industry's pro condom republican advocacy group (CRAP), the Republican Party's Milking the Middle Class, and a coalition of right-wing talk show hosts called whimper formed to improve their program ratings.
Obama said that the rumors include such bizarre ideas as one "that will promote euthanasia when in fact the program, Youth and Asia, is designed to improve math at the middle school level. Other rumors include a cut in Medicaid, which is actually designed to provide free medical Bandaids for the poor.
The biggest rumor yet, say Obama aids, is a government takeover of health care. This program to find healthy individuals to care about the government is nothing new and has been brought before Congress in various bills--beginning with Gov 101: Care About Uncle Sam?--since WWII.
In related news from our WGAF files, Sarah Palin's lawyer said she will be divorcing her husband Todd.
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