Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Palin Releases Medical Records

By D P Fleming—D Pressing News Staff Writer

Candidates Obama and Biden released their medical records some time ago, earlier into the campaign. McCain's were delivered in 37 banker's boxes to the Wall Street Journal months ago. Palin has previously regarded the offering up of such information as intrusion by "all the darn curiosity seekers" and a violation of first amendment rights.

Today, the day after the presidential election, Republican VP nominee Samuel Palin (formerly known as Sarah Palin) released a summary of her/his medical records.

In a statement to D Pressing News, Dr. Cathy Ballsdwind-Johnson wrote "Governor Palin is in excellent health for a man and has no known health problems other than a slight infection in the groin from a tick bite received while moose hunting earlier this year. Unfortunately, the tick swelled and became indistinguishable from other anatomical parts in the region. Confusion over what to excise ensued and caused a mishap that required reconstructive surgery resulting in Palin's current condition."

"However," said Ballswind-Johnson, "the change would not have interfered with Samuel Palin's ability to carry out the duties and obligation of vice president of the United States of America, although it may cause problems with discrimination when using public restrooms."

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