By DP Fleming, D Pressing News Senior Reporter
Britain has proudly unveiled its first orthodontist, 77-year-old Den Ture. Ture graduated from the Queen's Royal Academy of Dentition and Mandible Realignment. Previously, the British government had considered clean and properly aligned teeth to be expensive, unattractive, and unnecessary.
Ture, a former hog and ant farmer from Derby, excelled among his graduating class several of whom failed to complete the rigorous academic schedule. Among those who will repeat the final semester are England's first ever chef, an untidy German, a celibate Frenchman, and two wine-averse Italians who hate pasta.
So far, three British-born dentists have applied to the Academy, but none have been accepted. The first-ever British dentist was P. Ainful a house painter born in Sheffield who extracted teeth at gunpoint with a number two plaster spatula and bailing wire for three and six pence in 1990.