Thursday, April 2, 2009

Former CEO of AIG Blows Hole in Pants

By DP Fleming--D Pressing News Senior Staff Reporter

A large anal explosion of unknown cause erupted from the lower dorsal posterior of Maurice Greenberg blowing a hole through his pants and coat and showering the room with $1,000 bills. The former head of AIG testified today at the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee hearing on "The Collapse and Federal Rescue of A.I.G. and What It Means for the U.S. Economy", or HOAGRCHOTCAFROAIGAWIMFTUSE (pronounced hoager chotca fro aiga wimf tuse) on Capitol Hill in Washington.

The explosion left a four-inch crater in the executive's trousers and millions of dollars on the floor around him. "Oops," commented Greenberg and he continued his testimony. Fortunately, no one was standing behind Greenberg at the time of the eruption so there were no casualties from the explosion, but many in attendance left the meeting with money to refinance their homes and college funds for their children.

Despite this unfortunate event, Greenberg remains convinced he managed AIG well and refused the $25 million dollar bonus offered him when he left the company.

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