By DP Fleming, D Pressing News Senior Staff Writer
Although his children wear clothes on their nude bodies, the Governor of the state of Mind ditched his family Thursday to go bungee jumping on Naked Jumping Day. Many jumpers celebrate the summer solstice by jumping au naturel.
The governor was missing for five days and was found Monday night by his staff running naked along the Appalachian Trail with a pair of high-powered binoculars.
D Pressing News obtained an exclusive interview with native Andrew A. Tickonbutt, 88, an extremely light skinned horse breeder from Hogfat, Pa., who started jumping naked 64 years ago. "There's no way to explain it. It's about gravity and loose skin. It's just kinda funny how things move around."
Jumpers who prefer clothes are angry. Bling Grodon, the eleventh man on the moon, said "I was the eleventh man on the moon."
Law enforcement authorities say they see so many ugly jumpers on Naked Jumping Day that they don't consider them naked.