By DP Fleming, D Pressing News Senior Staff Writer
Congressional nutritionists have been able to reduce the amount of gas emissions representatives and senators produce simply by changing their diet. Political gassy bodily functions contribute to global warming.
The staff at the house and senate snack bars feed members fish containing high levels of Omega 3 fatty acids as well as truth, honesty, and frugal competence. Congress is responsible for 14% of US greenhouse gas production.
Burps from politicians are mostly to blame. Traditionally, congressmen feed each other bullshit and other types of malarkey besides the usual lies and innuendo.