Wednesday, November 10, 2010

D Pressing News Archivist Becomes Obsessed with Chi Baggers

Our Archivist continues to clean out the records here at your source for nonsense that makes sense.

HEADLINE: Cross-eyed man goes to 3-D Movie, Peers Into the Sixth Dimension, Sees Soupy Sales

HEADLINE: Filmmaker David Lynch Says "Balck Cfoefe Wtih Ice Ceram and Pie is Paehcy Keen"

HEADLINE: Shiites and Sunnis Put Aside Differences and Win "Best in Show" with New Shiatsunnis Breed of Dog

HEADLINE: New Shiatsunnis Breed of Dog is Stripped of "Best in Show" Medal After Eating Second Place Miniature Chihuahua

HEADLINE: Chiahuahua Resuscitated on Reality Show Found Without Papers, Extradited to Mexico

HEADLINE: Taco Bell Fined for Rehiring Illegal Chiahuahua

HEADLINE: Chiahuahua Chokes to Death on Crispy Taco Shell, Mexican Government Suing Taco Bell for $1,000,000,000 Pesos

HEADLINE: Congress in Gridlock Over Mexican Lawsuit, Obama Administration Accused of Water Boarding Chiahuahua Terrorist

HEADLINE: People for the Ethical Treatment and Alliance of Chiahuahua Organizations
(PETACO) Demand Audience with Nancy Pelosi

HEADLINE: Chi Party Denounce Chiahuahua Death Panels and Announces Canine Candidate

HEADLINE: Glenn Beck Warns: Liberal Fascist Chi Party Communist Rally Funded by National Femi-Nazi Party Contributions Laundered Through Drug Addicted Gay Al-Qaeda Terrorist

HEADLINE: Keith Olberman Interviews Chi Party Candidate Juan Enchirito Who Denies Accepting Treats for Rolling Over for Republicans and Democrats

HEADLINE: Is Taco Bell Funding Chi Party Candidate Juan Enchirito?

HEADLINE: Hungry Chiahuahua-Obsessed Writer Leaves for D Pressing News Cafeteria to Eat Macho Chili Cheese and Bean Burrito, Then Open Window

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dude,what the shiz are u even talking about? Is this what you do at night? Omg...and I thot I had problems. So strange! I can't believe we r related.