Democrat Rangel Guilty of Poor Story Pitch

By DP Fleming, Senior Staff Writer

Charles Rangel, one of the House's most powerful members, was found guilty of breaking the 12 commandments for screenwriting his Congressional film, FULL JACKET POCKETS. The 12 Commandments are:

1. The truth, if critical to the story, will always be in the subtext of your principle character's dialogue
2. Each scene will leave unanswered questions and will indicate they will be answered in a following scene
3. Unanswered questions from an earlier scene will never be fully answered, but will leave the audience believing they understand the narrative
4. Neither the antagonist or protagonist will reveal where he or she really gets his or her campaign contributions
5. None of the main characters who are Democrats will appear on Fox (MSNBC if they are Republicans)
6. The plot point that ends act one will reverse the fortunes of the party in power and the plot point ending act two will impart an impending dread until the climax
7. All main and secondary characters will kiss ugly babies regardless of who hands them one
8. The protagonist will eat nothing costing more than a bar hamburger, fries and a beer if they are on camera during a campaign in the film
9. Dramatic irony will result from all characters who are politicians acting like they are not a part of Washington even though they were sent there to work
10. No member of the three branches of government will ever claim they are making enough money to be in that top 5% threatened by suspension of the Bush tax cuts
11. Protagonists and Antagonists will each use the phrase, "What the American people want is..." at least once in each act and pretend they really know what they are talking about
12. If any of the main characters comes within at least 2000 miles of Iraq or Afghanistan, they can claim they've been there and know what's going on

The eight lawmakers on the subcommittee reached a unanimous verdict on all counts except # 7. "Rangel refused to kiss Sarah Palin's granddaughter," claimed one subcommittee member.

Rangel requested a delay in order to do a rewrite and pitch the story again, because he did not have his story line finished.

Rangel whined and complained about changes in dialogue that he thought weakened character arcs. He said he hopes the full Committee takes into account the power of his screenplay's inciting incident 3 pages in.

Rangel walked out of the trial when his denouement was rejected saying he would seek final cut and a distribution deal.