Saturday, March 14, 2009

US-China, Bad Fortune Cookie

By DP Fleming--D Pressing News Senior Staff Reporter

Ever since Chinese patrol boats harassed a US surveillance ship south of Hainan Island, the United States has ceased importing lead tainted toys, rice, and eventually teensie weensie umbrellas served with Mai Tai cocktails in Tiki mugs.

"A final decision on the umbrellas is expected sometime this week," a US official said. "We might ban all of them. The teensie weensies, the itty bitties, and the little bitty ones."

A day after halting the cheap imports, the USS CHUNG KING destroyer accompanied another Chinese-built US naval vessel the ONEFROMCOLUMN-A, a ship armed with 100,000 tons of MSG and designed to track Asian fishing boats and force feed their occupants Moo Goo Gaipan until they hyperventilate, break out in a rash, or experience atrial fibrillation.

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