Thursday, December 25, 2008

Bush Pardons Self After Belch Then Revokes Pardon After Toot.

Christmas Day, 2008
By DP Fleming--D Pressing News Staff Writer

George W. Bush belched during his Christmas dinner and pardoned himself. The President reversed his decision when leaks to the media led to widespread reports that he had issued a presidential toot immediately following the table-manner faux pas.

According to White House Press Secretary Dana Perino, Mrs. Bush served Texas style portions of longhorn strip steaks and baked potatoes with sour cream, which the President "wolfed down.” The food was not vetted by the Justice Department.

"Not sure, but I think it was the sour cream and beer," said the President.

Earlier this year, the President offered a donation of $150,000 to the NIH to study the effectiveness of an ancient Hindu dietary strategy for combating digestive problems, a method referred to in the Middle East as Uhafgoatwosqueezeyourbuttcheekstogether andnotlettheairout, or simply "holding it in.”

The President has had a difficult time learning the technique. “It just gets worse when I eat that spicy Indian food,” said Bush.

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