Friday, December 19, 2008

Glottis Outs "That Guy"

By DP Fleming--D Pressing News Staff Writer

An insider informant, known only as Inflamed Glottis has released documents to actor Robert Redford that a thirty-four-year-old man with no apparent connection to anyone of importance anywhere at anytime has avoided death in his home in California.

The man, secretly known as That Tall Guy, was called a Bung Weasel by trick-or-treaters and neighbors who hated him. Bung Weasel got on everybody's nerves by butting in on private conversations, continually complaining about his hair, and critiquing his own failed documentary that covered the nation's political upheaval during Presidential Nixon's abuse of power in 1974.

Bung Weasel suffered two bouts of eczema in recent years, and is also afflicted with Shitdisturber's disorder. His identity wasn't revealed until three days ago, when Weasel said simply "I'm the dude they call That Tall Guy," in an interview with a streetlamp.

That Tall Guy was widely derided by his neighbors as a buttinsky, yet lauded as a man who helped unravel corrupt supermarket coupon schemes designed to bring shoppers into the store by offering two-for-one discounts. He is currently struggling to reconcile his actions, wondering if he should keep his mouth shut and put on his pants.

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