By D P Fleming—D Pressing News Staff Writer *
President-elect Barack Obama is scheduled to discuss developing energy production from Venetian blind dust, claims made by former Vice President Al Gore on December 11. Obama was scheduled to meet with Gore and discuss the former VP's recent weight gain and its relation to a change in the Earth's rotation and its subsequent effect on world climate changes.
Obama signaled that Mr. Gore's diet will be a top priority of his administration, and Gore is expected to meet with Oprah Winfrey and non-doctor Dr. Phil for a "show and share hour" and hot tub interview and oil rubbing.
Gore's Alliance for Climate Protection, Global Cooling, Star Counting, Earth Axis Realignment, Whale Whitening, and GM's Opal tuning program or GACPGCSCEARWWGMOTP (pronounced gack-pig-kiss-kear-wawa-gimot-peh) believes the Obama administration has an opportunity to distribute metal detectors to each and every American citizen after the country essentially abandoned metal detecting under the Bush administration.
* note to readers: the D Pressing News is a clinically verified insane news reporting organization that makes this solemn oath to it readers: We will report events in a manner that we hope will induce hallucinations or seizures.