By DP Fleming--D Pressing News Staff Writer
The incoming Obama administration may scrap the replacement for the aging Space Shuttle. The Ares program may be set aside in favor of using mammoth helium balloons and giant slingshots to loft payloads into space.
These redesigned launching vehicles would make cheap replacements and save billions of dollars while still allowing manned flight capabilities," said Bling Gordon, the 6th man on the moon and first man on the moon with a toupee.
Properly fitted Flingonaughts and Spalloonmen would safely carry out the mission to reach: "...if not space, at least into the clouds," added the space flight veteran.
The last Space Shuttle flight is scheduled for 2009 when gasoline is expected to reach 8.99 per gallon. NASA had plans for permanent Moon based porta-potties by 2015 and a manned Mars mission to establish a McDonald's was to follow.